Bang Bang, I shot you down
by Mangalove
Summary: Shirou is still unsure of Yonekuni's feelings and wants to talk to him about it. Sadly, someone took the opportunity before he could.. AU, inspired by the song "Bang bang" performed by Nancy Sinatra.
1. Bang Bang

**« Bang Bang »**

**Rating :** M, Romance/Drama  
**Characters :** Yonekuni/Shirou  
**Manga :** Sex Pistols (Love Pistols)  
**Notes : **Alternative Universe, a small song-fic that "Bang bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" by Nancy Sinatra inspired me.  
English is not my mother tongue so I really want to thank Lylyrin, who took a look at it ! :)  
**Disclaimer :** Characters and Love Pistols are KOTOBUKI Tarako's property. The song belongs to Sonny Bono (I'd recommend you to listen to Nancy Sinatra' one, not to the original by Cher).  
**Beta :** Lylyrin

_Enjoy !_

* * *

**« Bang bang, he shot me down **  
**Bang bang, I hit the ground **  
**Bang bang, that awful sound**  
** Bang bang, my baby shot me down. »**

* * *

_" Madarame ? What are you doing here this late ?! Would you like to come inside ? "  
_  
I still remember vividly that day, when he first knocked at my door.  
We were in our second year, Madarame got me in his silly game, pretending to be friends and in return I could ask him a favor per day.  
I finally had the chance to be near him but to watch him flirt with the girls all-day and stay cold towards me was slowly killing me.

On this rainy evening, I found him on my doorstep, soaked and shaking; he seemed to whisper a sentence again and again but too low for me to understand.  
The man I loved, who hated any humans of male sex, was here to find comfort nearly unconscious.  
To say it surprised me would be an understatement, but I let him come in and embrace me.  
Every night of storm, the same happened until the day he woke up. The day it ended.  
Although I did understand how confused he might be, I could not help but feel some resentment: was he really unconscious when he came to visit me ?  
Was I so repulsive ?

* * *

**« Now he's gone, I don't know why,**  
**Until this day sometimes I cry,**  
**He didn't even say « good-bye »,**  
**He didn't take the time to lie. »**

* * *

Days have passed, he told me he was unsure of his feelings for me, but that he might like me and wanted to try it out. From now on I'll call him Yonekuni.

Then came the discover of my madarui status, the exams, summer and our « training trip » in the family business; we spend little time together and it often boils down to brief encounters or moments when we hold hands not looking at each other, blushing.

I did not know what to do, how I should explain to him that I wanted more, that I needed more; the urge to go out and discuss, to be embraced.  
But I was afraid of his reaction, that he might still be unsure and decide to end our relationship, that he might have realized I did not suit him anymore.

* * *

**« Bang bang, he shot me down,**  
**Bang bang, I hit the ground,**  
**Bang bang, that awful sound,**  
**Bang bang, my baby shot me down. »**

* * *

Yonekuni did not catch my doubts nor my pain, he seemed more and more out of his mind and was a little aggressive, I suspected him to hesitate about my feelings and honesty, as if he watched carefully every of my actions to judge me.

But what worried me the most was the fact that he looked like he tried to distance himself from me, though we were not really close.  
I've never been of a violent nature, but I couldn't go on like this, I was on the edge of craziness. So I took all the bravery I had and decided to talk to him, to force him to listen to me.  
He was in the kitchen of the restaurant, surrounded by dozens of employees who wanted him for themselves, and he did not see me.  
Sadly someone took the opportunity to talk to him before I could.

_« - Yonekuni ?_  
_- Hum.. ?_  
_- Can we talk ?, the group of women were staring with both anger and envy towards the newcomer, .. In private ?_  
_- Ok. »  
_  
I followed the Madarame brothers in the garden surprised by the discomfort of the jaguar, trying to be discreet. Even if he was famous for his inability to communicate, everyone knew he was not afraid to be outspoken and to see him embarrassed piqued my curiosity.

_« - What are you doing ?_  
_- What ?_  
_- With Fujiwara, what are you playing at ? Norio's worried._  
_- Shiro ? But what are you talking about ?! »  
_  
I started to think that maybe eavesdropping this conversation was not a good idea after all.. Even if it was attractive, I feared what I might hear.

_« - Of you ! Do you know how you act towards him ? First you reject him, then you act like a child to get him back and now you're as cold as ice ! Are you trying to drive him insane ?!_  
_- I .._  
_- Do you intend to settle down with him ? To live with him ?_  
_- Yonekuni, do you love him ?_  
_- I don't know.. I wonder if .. If us was a good idea. »_

Hearing this much was enough, my doubts were confirmed, he regretted and was more than uneasy with his feelings : he did not like me.  
Despite the fact that I had convinced myself that I would not regret it, that I would take anything he'll give me without asking for more, it was hard to take.

It was.. painful.

* * *

**« Bang bang, I shot you down,**  
**Bang bang, you hit the ground,**  
**Bang bang, that awful sound,**  
**Bang bang, I used to shot you down. »**

* * *

I read one last time the letter I had written, and finished to pack my things. I have made my choice, certainly a little bit rushed but I needed that; I wanted to go somewhere, as far from here as I could. That seemed to be the best option I had.  
In this letter I told him everything, absolutely everything.  
Before, I had spent years moping and suffering in silence, looking painfully at Yonekuni because I was too weak to leave and turn over.

But I could not go on, I did not want to be the nice and weak « Pres' » anymore, who just hoped and nodded. I wanted to be me without being afraid, to love and be loved, to live an adult and assumed relationship.  
To be able to hold the hand of my lover, to kiss him without being anxious.  
I wanted to be me and to be pleased.  
I enjoyed the time we spent together, while being disappointed and frustrated at the same time, wishing for more than those short moments.

Coming back to his room this night, Kunimasa saw that the door of his brother's room was ajar. Intrigued, he entered and saw him kneeling, devastated.  
He caught sight of a crumpled sheet in the trash and a single note on the desk :

_« Thank you for the time you have given me, but I decided to give you back your freedom, be happy Madarame. Shiro. »_

* * *

**« Bang bang, I shot you down. »  
**

* * *

_Reviews ? :3_**  
**


	2. Escape

_Title :_ Escape

_Rating :_ K

_Summary_ : AU, follows "Bang Bang, My Baby Shot Me Down". Shiro left Japan and think about his choice..

_Notes/Warnings :_ Here is the second part of "Bang Bang", there is another one left about Yonekuni's feelings that will be published later and I think about translating the story I wrote about what happens to Shiro after that.. I'd like to have your opinion !English is not my mother tongue and I have no Beta-Reader this time, so I'm sorry for my mistakes ! ^^ (Feel free to point them out !)

_Disclaimer :_ Love Pistols belongs to KOTOBUKI Tarako, and the text is all mine. 

* * *

**PLEASE !  
Be kind, and think to the poor little French girl that spent hours wondering if she should publish a story in English or not,  
and who is still unsure about that :  
**

**REVIEW ! **:3 

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« **Escape**, _n., _an act of escaping, _ex:_ escape from jail; _synonym:_ flight. »

_Escape_ is what describes best what I was trying to do. I escaped; I fled from the city I was born in, from people I cared for, from my life.  
I felt free, I looked-for as much as rejected the idea to go back home, to get my life back in order.

But I knew it wouldn't be enough, it would never be; I needed that, to stay safe and keep some dignity, to be able to look at myself in the mirror without being ashamed.

This choice was the first one I made for me and me alone, it's true I went through pain and tears, but I wanted to be myself and to be loved like that.  
To escape from this jail, of this cold and oppressive cell that was our relationship; but we were both the prisoner and the guard…

I wasted so much time contemplating you from behind, admiring you and crying quietly, and silently agreeing to your night visits even though you were unconscious.  
So much time believing you were sincere and sure of your feelings for me, I hoped you were what I wanted you to be, denying what you really were…

In the new illusion I was creating, stop and there was no turning back, I would have been forced to realise I was now all by myself, desperately alone and that I chose that.

I missed Mum tenderness and silent comprehension, Oushou was not there to distract me anymore and I had not laughed because of Norio for a while; no one would wait for me at home anymore.  
Fear grew inside; I was afraid of knowing they were going fine without me, that they did not need me… That life went on.

I wanted to live, forget him, fall in love again, meet other people and discover new cultures.  
I dreamed of being the one I never used to be, the one I did not dare to be; to stop being scared, stop being "Pres", I needed to change.

Fleeing was a way to avoid reality and the fact he did not miss me, that for him it has been a relief.

The note I had left was just a weakness, I did not wish to cause him more trouble than I had, although he himself did not bother about my feelings…

My words were gentle compared to how I felt; I was deceived, angry and hurt, he never even tried to understand how I felt, never tried to talk to me of his worries… but I did not blame him, I was the one who made a fool of me, the one who always follow and forgive him.

So I ran away, I travelled the world without looking at it; I created a whole new world where I could be me and withdrew myself of the past. 

* * *

« Il n'y a qu'un remède à l'amour : la fuite. » J. Anouilh

(« There is only one cure to love : escape ») 

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I would love to know what you thought of this so..

Please, review ;)


	3. A Letter to Yonekuni

**« A Letter to Yonekuni »**

_Rating:_ K  
_Genre:_ Romance/Drama  
_Summary:_ AU, follows "Bang Bang, My Baby Shot Me Down". In time period is set just before Escape. Kunimasa finds something while cleaning the Yonekuni's room…  
I didn't write what was inside the letter because I think the song can easily set Shiro's mood and because that let you imagine what was written ;)

_Notes/Warnings : _Here is the third part of "Bang Bang" maybe the last, I'm not sure about it yet; and I still think about translating the story I wrote about what happens to Shiro after that..  
I'd like to have your opinion!  
I would like to thank Nagareboshi-Lover and JoEdgardHom who gave me energy to continue !  
English is not my mother tongue and I have no Beta-Reader, so I'm sorry for my mistakes! :) (Feel free to point them out!)

_Disclaimer:_ Love Pistols belongs to **KOTOBUKI Tarako**, the song is "_I love you"_ from **Woodkid** and the text is all mine.

Hope you'll enjoy!

* * *

Kunimasa was looking at Yonekuni, kneeling on the ground and holding tight the small note, he seemed to be staring into the distance…

Helpless, that is how the heavy-seed cat felt.

He had done everything for the reptile, who because of his health was the most vulnerable; he had ensured to be the one their mother would take away, the one to be raised by this insane woman.

But this time, he could only watch.  
He sat down and hugged him soberly, as he used to when the croco needed to be warm up; they stayed like that for a long moment.

Yonekuni was the one to break the silence:

"_I.. I know it now."  
__"What?!"  
__"You asked me if I wanted to hang out with him, if I wanted him to be my partner_ _and ... yeah, but he's gone."__  
_

The jaguar hold him closer, "_And? Find him."_

The next day, he woke up early to find that his brother had already left, definitely chasing after Fujiwara; during the night, he had listened to Yonekuni's doubts and feelings.

He had stopped him with a "_Ya'love him idiot!" _rewarded by a sceptical look he went on, "_or else you wouldn't be caring."_

While cleaning the room he saw a strange and crumpled sheet of paper in the wastepaper basket and took it out of curiosity.  
He instantly recognized the paper used by the restaurant, on top of it was the name of the croco.

Intrigued, he opened it.

That was a letter from the canine, reading it could be considered as being intrusive, but he had always been overprotective towards Yonekuni and he had a bad feeling about it…

* * *

_**Where the light shivers offshore**_

_**Through the tides of oceans**_

_**We are shining in the rising sun**_

_**As we are floating in the blue**_

_**I am softly watching you**_

_**Oh boy your eyes betray what burns inside you  
**_

* * *

Fujiwara had written everything about what he felt or had felt; it was tough, the sorrow and rage it contained.

The pain he got from watching him flirt from afar, or from greeting him every night like the mistress he was; the fear and relief that came as well when the blond found; the pain of not being loved back…

* * *

_**Whatever I feel for you**_

_**You only seem to care about you**_

_**Is there any chance you could see me too?**_

_**'Cos I love you**_

_**Is there anything I could do**_

_**Just to get some attention from you?**_

_**In the waves I've lost every trace of you**_

_**Oh where are you?**_

* * *

He said he had overheard their conversation the day before, and that he had also noticed they grew more and more distant every day, that was why he wanted to talk to Yonekuni… he declared he was glad : he knew the crocodile would have remained silent in order not to hurt him.  
That it was better to free him, he wished him to be happy with the person who would fit him.

* * *

_**After all I drifted ashore**_

_**Through the streams of oceans**_

_**Whispers wasted in the sand**_

_**As we were dancing in the blue**_

_**I was synchronized with you**_

_**But now the sound of love is out of tune**_

* * *

The feline was thankful that he was the first to read it, Yonekuni would have kept it inside and lock himself up much more than before.

* * *

_**Whatever I feel for you**_

_**You only seem to care about you**_

_**Is there any chance you could see me too?**_

_**'Cos I love you**_

_**Is there anything I could do**_

_**Just to get some attention from you**_

_**In the waves I've lost every trace of you**_

_**Oh where are you?**_

* * *

As he started to read the last line, he heard Karen scream. Running through the corridors, he arrived in the hallway to find the dragon prostrate, drenched and having difficulty to stand.

"_Yonekuni!"  
"He's gone."_

At the end of the letter, there was a mere note:

_That's why I need to go,  
Love you,  
Goodbye.  
_


End file.
